I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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