My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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