I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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