once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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