No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
