Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
