broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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