Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
