put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
