I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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