I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
