there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
