remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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