The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
