Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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