Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
