I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
