she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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