I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
