i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
