you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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