And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
