She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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