Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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