i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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