I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
