Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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