everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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