I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
