The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who died my cat blue again?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize