I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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