Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
