Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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