I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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