I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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