I want to make a zoo with you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
