I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
