It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
