What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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