This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
