wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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