I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
