you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
