i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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