When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
