the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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