im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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