So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
