Please, let me fuck your mom
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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