Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
