i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
