Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
