Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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