bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize