I must be too annoying 4 u.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Im part way to drunk.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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