that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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