So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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