So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
