just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize