I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
