Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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