Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
