who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
