so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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