Me. At least after what I've been through.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
