just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
